A Getaway

while waiting

Hi hello...

I'm definitely losing my English. No doubt on that :( Hhhhh...I miss Melbourne. We used to complain on the freezing weather there. Now I cannot feel it anymore, no matter how low I set my aircon's temperature at.

I've just finished uploading the report. So I can go home now =p Dunno what to write...blame it on the language that we use here.

Bandung

Hello...hello...

Me in Bandung already... And I miss Melbourne, a lot. There's no blue sky here. Every day is cloudy and uncomfortably humid. I think I'm losing my English, soon enough!! Every voice I hear and every sign/billboard are in Indonesian. I've just realised that people here really speak in Sundanese accent! Whoaaaaaa... I don't wanna be here.

Happenings to date:
- saw a lizard in the bathroom on my first day in Bandung and I was quite shocked.

- met an ugly cockcroach and I screamed calling my mom, he he.

- have been eating any kind of food since my first day in Indo to prove that my stomach is so "bandel". Nothing happened.

- doing girls' stuffs with two of my bestfriends, Widya and Joyce. I talked or chatted with them through emails a lot when I was in Melbourne, but I extremely had a great time with them. You won't know how much you miss a person until you meet him/her.

- attended the Christmas candle light service at my church and met loads of old faces. They still look the same as 2 or 2.5 years ago. The only difference is their story. So many things happened, new couple, newly wed couple, new babies, new job, etc. etc. I was quite surprised to see my ex singing solo at the end of the service. That's something I didn't expect. He's gained some weights too!! =) But his voice is still amazing. I cannot say whether it's even better than few years ago or I simply had forgotten everything in Bandung the way I forgot the streets here and how they're connected to each other.

- one of my bestfriends is getting married next September. I haven't even met her boyfriend!! Ho ho. They got together few days before our last dinner in Dec 2004 and now they're preparing for their wedding. Congrats, Mil!! I'm so happy for you =)

- driving here after 2 years of absence was such an experience. It's scarry considering the "angkot" and motorbike. It's COOL that I still remember how to drive.

- I was looking for my pics in Korea when I found his pics on the top pile of my photo albums. Back in 2000, we made a promise that we'd always be bestfriends whatever happened next, with whom we'd end up with, etc. etc. Well, I don't remember exactly whether its our agreement or he's trying to "politely" answer my question. Anyway... I missed the old days. So I tried to call his homephone number relying on my best guess since I didn't remember where I kept his number. I didn't even know whether he's already here or still somewhere in Europe. Glad that my memory's still working!! And so was his. He remembers my number too. Sort of. We talked on the phone. He's getting married next year. Looking forward to meet him and his girlfriend. It's been 4.5 years since the last time I met him. It was on my "sidang" day and he happened to be in Indo that he came to Unpar to watch my "sidang". Hmmm...

Ok, gotta do something else. Merry Christmas to you all, btw...

the last...

It's always like this. The last day of working...the last day before leaving Jakarta...the last hours before due date or exam, etc. etc. Never have enough time, but still got lots of things to complete. As a result, we have to be happy with the work that is "less" than what it's been expected or imagined or planned before. Hmm, actually...we will never know whether it's "less" or even "more". But that's how things normally work. With me, I mean. "KepepetISME" usually helps me a lot to avoid being too mellow in dealing with the "last" thingy. When you're in "kepepet" mode, you don't have time to FEEL as all you need is just to THINK and get things done. At least it keeps you insane =)

Leaving Melbourne tomorrow. Soon enough. It's gonna be weird to see Indo again after some time...ermm...almost 2 years. And it's gonna be even more bizzare to be not in Melbourne, not seeing what I used to see, hearing what I used to hear, or even missing the tram. Oopsss...

Anyway...I'm so tired now. 3.12am already.

In summary (IELTS style!!)... I've learned a lot in Melbourne, much more than what I got from the course. Perhaps I should say...I've learned about IMPERFECTIONS.

Okkie dokkie... Bye bye, Melbourne!! Be good!! Hahaha...

31

31 more hours before departure and I still got heaps of things to do. And some friends that I won't have a chance to meet before leaving.

4.10am now. Haven't finished packing. So tired.

THREE

Three more days? THREE?!?! Serious?! 

I’ve been gradually stacking my stuffs in my luggage in the past few days. Tomorrow is my graduation day and I still cannot decide which frock I should wear for the BIG day. Well, it may not be that BIG, actually… as I even didn’t realize that tomorrow is the day until my mom said something about “graduation” and “Tuesday” and “tomorrow”, and suddenly my brain started to see some connections between those words. Silly… =) 

I started to get panic when I weighed my luggage last night. I’m definitely gonna have to pay for the excess baggage if I don’t do something. So the first thing I said to my mom and sis this morning was that we’re gonna need to deliver some of my stuffs home. Again. After the massive delivery early this month. And this time, I will have to pay more than two times the rate I got before. Damn!! I should have packed some more, added one or two more boxes, and everything’s cool! Why didn’t I do that? At least I could have swapped the cost for something more useful. 

On our way to get some boxes at the Barkly Square, we met Wayne, the caretaker. So we did the basa-basi thing. He was asking about when exactly we’re leaving when he suddenly came up with a number. And it was “THREE” the number he got. I was shocked and looked at my sis while redoing the math. What I had in mind at that time was that THREE sounded incorrect. “I guess the answer should have been FOUR,” I said to myself. But I was wrong. He was right.

I was sitting on the floor with loads and loads of stuffs around me and my sis was talking to my dad on the phone. I heard my sis repeating the words “THREE”. And I wasn’t sure with what I heard for the second time today. 

Yea, yea…I finally agree with them…I don’t have any other number.

I checked my mail just now and unexpectedly finding a mail from k. He wrote about the same thing, the same number. I replied his mail few days ago and I said that I got 9 more days here. I'm apparently not the only one who's counting down. He subtracted the figure correctly ;p But the number sounds better in his mail. Much better. And I don’t understand why he’s still capable of doing the magic.

Whoaaaaa… It’s so tiring… Ermm, no…it’s annoying. Now I know how it feels to be on the other side. I reckon k should seriously consider starting to write a how-to book.

I know for sure that I’m being so mellow these days…and that’s because I’m leaving Melb for good. But why, why guys can be pathetically mellow too ya? Aren’t guys supposed to be “stronger” and more logical? It must be just an old saying. I don’t think men are “stronger” than women. Look around and have a quick test…how long does a guy need to bounce back from a broken relationship and get a new one? The average must be shorter than that of a woman. Okay…everyone can reason that it’s because men are more logical. They realize that things are over, so let’s move on. Fair enough. But can you tell the different between doing a sensible thing and being unable to cope with the loneliness? Or put it simple, cannot live without a woman? Then who’s the stronger now, the one who immediately looks for a replacement… or the one who knows that things are over and it hurts but the person also know that s/he gotta bear living alone until s/he find the “one”?

Is that the max I could do?

Heyyy...I was trying to write something here!! And a stupid movement of my finger suddenly took me to the weather forecast site. I lost all words I've written. Damn!!

I don't feel like repeating what I've written so far. It's bloody annoying!

I got the results of my last semester this morning. And my degree. Now I got a complete picture of my 4-semester studying (not yet the 2-year learning) here. Well, actually… I haven't got my degree conferred yet, not until Dec 19. But for now, at least I can be sure that I'm attending the graduation ceremony. And the puzzle I’ve just completed…it’s only on the study part. I’ll need to be able to summarize the full story in 2 WEEKS’ time when returning home. WHOAKKK!!!

I made a guess of my marks last night. And four out of five subjects I took last semester were as expected. I only missed one –the Financial Engineering—which was fortunately one grade higher than I'd expected. The thing is that I'd prepared myself for bad results this semester. And this time I was right. 

The results didn't really surprise me the way the first semester of 2005 and 2006 (thank God, I managed to get this one revised a month after) did. But the fact that my worse, if not the worst, case scenario was true did.

The fact that I’ve been able to differentiate which subjects I like and which ones I don’t by comparing the marks did. In terms of marks, I used to see myself as an “extremist”. I could only get either the best or the worst. I couldn’t do something in between. It’s just not me.

The fact that I’ve proven my theory did. I’ve told my mom, my sis, and my friends, “I guess I do things best when I’m under pressures.” I worked part time during my second semester 2005 and first semester 2006. I chose not to work last semester since the timetable was quite intensive in the first couple months. I chose to quit working especially because I wanna be a full-time student, for once and may be for the last time in my life. I wanted to “enjoy” the hours I spent in the Bailieu library. Huehe…yaikkksss!! (but it’s somewhat true, here I learn to like studying at the library) I wanted to enjoy my last months here, going out whenever and wherever I wanted to, without being bounded by the roster. And you know what I got? Looking at my marks from the first to the last semester…it does have a bell-shaped distribution (didn’t check whether it has a skewness of zero and kurtosis of three, tho). I got the best marks when I was being a quarter-time student, a quarter-time waitress, a quarter-time “mom” for myself, and a quarter-time TOURIST!!! And I got more colorful results when I chose to “convert” my visa into a studying-holiday one. The average for this last semester was even the worst compared to the first three.

This is what I've been afraid of. Regrets. I know that I didn't put much effort this semester. But it should have been okay if I had given my best shot when sitting for the exams. And that IS more annoying, even more annoying than the errors in Friendster and than my laptop which screwed my writing just now :p

When you did badly during early semester(s), you can always tell yourself to try again next time, which was also what k told me the moment I got my first semester 2005 results. At that time, my bro also told me that the sky wasn’t falling even when I didn’t get the best. That’s true…very true that I’m still able to see the beauty and the banality of the Melbourne skies three semesters afterwards. But since this is my last semester… there’s no next time. The averaging process is terminated and it’s final. Everyone used to say, “You’ll be fine.” Or “You’ll get a good mark.” And I really hate when people say, “Ahhh…Ayna gitu lho…ga bisanya or jeleknya loe tuh bagusnya gue.” I know I’ve been talking about marks and grades as if it were the single most important thing. But what actually matters a lot to me is whether I’ve done the best I could. And there’s no way other people know how much effort I’ve put. You know yourselves, don’t you? So you’re the one who can tell the truth and being honest to yourselves. And surely there is a difference between not being able to do something well and choosing not to do something well.

Anyway… I’m grateful (well, have to) that it’s all over. I was consciously thinking of doing something ordinary when I came here. I’ve learned a lot about imperfection in many different things. And I got a fuller life instead.
Okay…gotta do some cleaning and laundry. My mom and sis are coming tomorrow!!! Gee…it’s the day I’ve been waiting for since the first day I touched down Melbourne. I was more excited about it when I was in the exam period last month. Now…as it is really coming, I so wanna put it on hold because I know, the moment they’re here…my days in Melbourne immediately drop below fortnight.Write some more later.

THANK YOU!! miss you...

I was (still) studying for IBF exam this coming Thursday. Gee...can't believe it that I got 2 weeks of preparation for this exam and I haven't finished studying, yet... Okay, okay...I've been lazy and the bad news is that things get more complicated the more I try to do the past exam papers. I've been reading the terms, like "IF PPP holds...", "The Monetary approach to the determination of exchange rates predicts...", active investment, passive investment, and the darn option things, hundreds of times. But I still get confused. Panick attack!! Anyway...that's why I'm sneaking out at the moment. I've just skimmed through the testimonials that my friends wrote for me. To be honest, I've already forgot some of them, including the stories they put there. *See...this is what happens when you're too occupied with your "present" and "future" stuffs*

So...I'm just trying to say that I'm so grateful to have you guys...you've been such great friends, best buddies, partners in crime, including temen berantem (hehehe...sorry yakkk...gue dah lupa juga seh soal yang ini)... and to have ever shared so many things, good and bad, with you guys. Thank you, guys...for your friendship. I didn't realise how long time has passed until I read your testimonials. Sometimes we're so busy that we just don't count how many days lapse without being in touch with those who used to be and are supposed to be such close friends. I do miss you, guys... So now I have another reason why I should look forward to go back to Indo (besides the cravings for the food, of course), which will be in...55 days?!?! That's less than 2 months!! See...time flies.

jap chae

We're supposed to have jap chae for lunch today. Well, that's the agreement we made last Friday. So I had been craving for it for days. I was even so excited last night, thinking that I was gonna have jap chae today. But, damn...Grandma Kimchi was closed when we got there. And Carnegie is too far... Besides, I wasn't sure whether it's open for lunch or not. So we ended up having Malaysian dishes, which was...oookayyy...

Then we stayed there for a while, talking about this and that...which was basically about what we're gonna do after "this life"...I mean after we're back in Indo, when the "long holiday" is over. For me, it will be at the end of December. And I guess people don't hire staffs at the end of the year. They must be on leave or at least in the holiday mode.

Then we went shopping...me and Dilys... There were only two of us left at the end. I'm so happy to find the new (well, it's new to me...you know me well enough to realize that I'm not a big fan of books) Mitch Albom's book...and it was on sale ($10 off) at Borders!! Then we went here and there...looking at clothes...beautiful girly summer clothes...but they're bloody expensive!!! All are over AUD 130 and they are "Made in China"!!! And you'll never know whether they're still gonna be there when the sale time is coming.

Then I went to the 6pm service afterwards. I was so glad to see that it's not dark yet out there when the service finished. It was 8pm already...and it felt like 5pm or something... That's the nice thing about summer.

Then I went home...and I called my mom. I'm so excited about my mom and my sis coming here next December. It must be fun that we have a chance to go travelling together again. It's been for some time that  we're never be at the same place on the same time. So it's been ages that we don't go out together like we used to. I was thinking to go back studying (exam preparation time!!!) after talking with my mom. But then, I felt like calling k. So I did. And he was at home. I actually didn't expect he'd be there. But he was and he's available too, surprisingly... And there we were...talking silly again... We're actually talking about more serious stuffs this time, about me looking for a job. He said that he's getting sick and tired listening to me complaining about how worried I am about the whole job hunting thing. But how can't I be worried? It's not as easy as he thinks it would be for me. And he mentioned about one job that's just been taken by a guy from FinCon. That's my dream job...where you'll get a chance for a one-or-two-month attachment in Singapore, learning about all, ALL, of the Bank's products...not only the Treasury's products... and you'll be the person to understand everything about those products, how it works, what the risks are, how it's gonna have an impact on P&L, etc. etc....So it's a mixture between Treasury and FinCon. They call it "Management Support" which is essentially the same as the "Product Control" thing that I've always wanted. But it's already been taken!! It's so unfair... It's impossible for me to get that job since I'm still here...but I'm only gonna be here for less than 2 months. Hiks...can't they wait for 2 months? I don't mind starting to work as soon as I'm back in Indo if those are things I'm gonna do. Anyway... just hope they'll need another person for that function. In summary... I enjoyed the talk. I know I don't feel the same way as I used to, and I know things must have been different if I weren't here at the moment, but I still had a great time talking to him. Silly boy... Yea, and I'm proud of him that he got 88 for the test. He said he didn't do well at the test that he didn't wanna talk about it. I really can't imagine him studying after work for 5 days... only to sit the exam. Well done!

And I haven't touched my lecture notes since this morning. Aiyaaa... It's late already.

THE LAST...ever?!?!

Today was my last class this semester, this year. And it would also be my last class ever!! Well, I'm not planning to pursue any other degree for the moment, guys...enough... What a relief, isn't it?!?! That was what I had thought before. But it happened to be...not so right. I dunno why I felt like missing something. And to be honest, I was a bit sad after the class this afternoon though I was trying not to think about it. I dunno what to feel but I know things are gonna be different.

Yea...that would be the end of my two years studying here. Well...I still got two exams to go...and it's not that I really enjoyed studying and the assignments that much. But still, I'm gonna miss things. There'll be no more class, no more running late for morning class =), no more tutorials, and I may not meet some of my classmates anymore.

Hmmm...that's life... And I'm still doing my last assignment, btw. Yea, rite, I'm gonna miss this too!! Hhhhh...wish this could be more enjoyable.

Look up in the map! Or do Google-ing!

It's not supposed to be a surprise for me. Cannot legally be. But it did give me a heart-stopping moment, in a bad way, I mean.

Was sitting with a skinny capp at Myer this morning. Was quite early for meeting my friend. So I took a chance to be in the middle of those lazy Sundays' late breakkie, which is one I always wanna do. Was lovely. Until I sent an sms and unexpectedly got a quick reply with an unexpectedly, unusualy long message. Morocco? Where on earth is it?! Somewhere around Europe?!?! But it doesn't really sound like one. I even had a hard time trying to figure out how to spell the word correctly, is it with a double  "r" or "c" or both? And who's he referring to when he says "my boss"? And why he kept trying to say something nice?

Anyway...I had fun with all the 11 gals today. Having yumcha (thank you, Syl...) and watching "The Departed". And at the end of the show, we didn't really get the whole story of it. Too many F*** words and gunshots!! But Leonardo di Caprio was really cool!!! =)